There isn't enough time.
Project A or fire drill B? Oh, and department C is really interested in you doing D, but that would cost the time you need to see your family for E, or maybe you could get up super early and…
It’s true: you cannot do everything. There are always tradeoffs, and differing pressures and demands on your time and attention.
Here’s the thing:
You actually do have complete, 100% agency over what you do with that. You could leave your family behind and disappear into a monastic lifestyle. You could quit your job and pour yourself into learning to knit silk lederhosen.
You don’t because you’re not willing to live with the consequences of those actions. And that can be totally reasonable! You probably shouldn’t leave your family–and you probably don’t want to, regardless of what you might do in their absence! (Definitely don’t because a blog post suggested knitting lederhosen from silk!)
When you’re feeling like you don’t have agency, remember how unbelievably vast the decision space of living in the universe is. Then weigh the consequences, and own your outcome.
Feeling like you’re stuck with your environment and situation breeds half-assedness and resentment. Acknowledging that you have choice lets you commit–or occasionally to make big changes.
